Funny, one would think after being friends with somone for more than three years, one would at least know their more remarkable light and dark sides. Sometimes, apparently, one would be mistaken.
Yesterday, I found out some uglier sides of a person that I considered a close friend. It’s not even so much the things that were shared about me, which were relatively minimal as far as I know, nor the attitude that I sometimes get from this person, but rather the double standard that is used. Maybe it’s for the better, since I know see the friendship in a different light.
I don’t know whether I was blinded by a need for a friend or if I just missed some critical clue. I’m not going to walk away from the friendship, but I’ve gained valuable insight into what I should put into it.
What hurts is that I feel that I put a lot of effort into this friendship, and I am beginning to wonder if the returns have been worth it. However, I think that’s a matter to let the future decide. At least I know a little more about what to watch for.
There is a silver lining, though. The revelation freed me to share an experience with my boyfriend that I had been holding back out of respect to the aforementioned friend. While sticky at first, as any secret kept past its expiration date, I think that it improved communication between us. Besides, if I had never become friends with the former person, I would never have met my sweetie. 🙂